My Resume to The Ellen Show

• I ran into traffic on the way to work, so I decided to explore other avenues.
• I took a trip to the capitol of i. It was you.
• A blog is a website. A web log is spider poop.
• Four pairs of identical twins jumped me once. I said, “What are you, some kind of Doppelgäng?”
• I spill drinks whether I’m drunk or sober. The difference being that when I’m sober, they tend to spill down my throat.
• The grass is always greener when you aren’t color blind.
• I was getting drunk, and then, and that’s when I woke up.
• I always laugh at my own jokes, but it’s okay, I didn’t write them.
• My friend passed me a pamphlet that told me that God loves me. What is this, Junior High?
• I want to commit suicide by jumping off an overpass, so that for once traffic will be stuck in me.
• I was smoking a cigarette and my friend told me it would kill me. I smoked it faster so it didn’t have the chance.
• I tried to be a comedian, but everyone just laughed at me.

Best consumed with help from www.instantrimshot.com. Thanks to Chris for the title of this post.

I like to make up fake celebrity conversations on Twitter

Did you know? The headline of this post is redundant! Now Has Several Musical Tunes.

Mumford and Sons – Little Lion Man
(Listen) (Download)

Keedz – Stand On The Word
(Listen) (Download)

Barretso – Midnight Walk
(Listen) (Download)

The Whitest Boy Alive – Gravity
(Listen) (Download)

Vampire Weekend – The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance (Chromeo Remix)
(Listen) (Download)

RT @SarahPalinUSA: DERP!

NICKELBACK

nickelback.

Famous photos done in Garry’s Mod

I was going to make a proper feature out of this a long time ago, but they just weren’t turning out well enough to justify continuing. Just found them all buried deep within my archive of stuff. Sharing is caring, and I may as well drop them here. Enjoy.

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I effing love Jalapeños

ABOVE: HERE ARE SOME JALAPEÑOS ON A VEGGIE BURGER. YUM!

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Musics Dump

Been a bit of a crazy week, and I still haven’t done X-mas shopping. Damn shame. But I have been listening to a lot of music. Here, eat it.

Cold War Kids – Audience of One (Listen) (MP3) | Looking forward to this EP immensely.

Lenka – Gravity Rides Everything (Listen) (MP3) | A very interesting Modest Mouse cover.

Terry Poison – Comme Ci Comme Ca (The Twelves Remix) (Listen) (MP3) | Love this track like I love jalapenos on my pizza.

Memory Tapes – Bicycle (Listen) (MP3) | Unusual sounds.

Diplo – Goldigger (Tugboat Edit) (Listen) (MP3) | Just fantastic.

I would just like to let you all know that this is superfantasmic

K thnx bye.

–Update: Le Castle Vania – Nobody Gets Out Alive! Another punch to the cochlear nerve.

High fructose cute syrup

Some old pictures of the pets to tease an ‘A’ as in ‘water’ from your vocal chords. Your pupils are now pupils of cute, and kittens are their tutors.

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Check out C-Ant’s Cartoon Christmas

Just a quick note that you should have a viewing of Antista’s A Cartoon Christmas, a blog that’s nerding its way through December with daily digests of classic Christmas specials, covered in such detail that only an obsessive-compulsive elf, or Chris Antista, could have written them. Also, have some Google, Chris…you just got linked, son.

Dan’s moving shenanigans, more musics

If you hadn’t heard, Mr. Dan Amrich is jumping ship and swimming from the Bay Area to the slightly filthier shores of LA to bring his community management skills to Activision. So instead of lugging his many years worth of useless nerd-gold with him, he decided to drop it like it’s hot in the office’s back parking lot.

Above: Children, all of us

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